Saturday, April 25, 2015


This has been a week of transitions for me. I had my last day at my previous job on Thursday, and start my new job on Monday. I also made some changes in my eating on Monday, and have been fueling with healthier foods and tracking my intake on MFP. I can feel the difference in my jeans already, so some of the retained water is coming off.

Lean proteins, low-fat dairy, fruits, and veggies have been the center of my diet. I have also enjoyed wine a couple of times because I am not cutting that out! The BF and I went out with friends on Thursday night which forced me to make some choices about where my calories would be spent, and that went well, too. Tonight is his birthday celebration and I am taking him to a very nice steakhouse for dinner as well as meeting friends for drinks afterward, so I am being careful with breakfast and lunch while making sure that I get some exercise in to allow a bit more indulgence tonight.

My upcoming trip to the U.K. made me realize that I want to get back to a sport place with my body to feel confident and comfortable taking that trip and meeting the team. This will most likely be my only fave to face visit with them this year, so I want to bring my best and so much of that is tied with how I feel about myself.

A good start. Now to continue with consistency, which is where I have stumbled these past few years. I have done it before and will do it again.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Where to Start?

I don't even know where to start. Both in recapping the last six months or with my path back to health.

A huge management change at work last  November made it the wrong place for me to be. Commence job search! I do not like the search, so that pretty much consisted of applying to 10 jobs in the area. No good fits. So I kept going with my current job, trying to make the best out of it while avoiding my new supervisor as best I could... and then an amazing job found me!

A very good friend and previous co-worker saw a job posting for her company (which is one of my top two companies I want to work for in Illinois), and it was like a dream. An offer in my hand less than two weeks after they first contacted me, and resignation a week later. I start my new job on 4/27 and could not be more excited! Some of my team is in the UK, so I am heading over there for a face-to-face meeting in early June.

Things with the BF are fantastic. After over a year together, he told me that he loved me for the first time. ��

The weight issue is an issue for sure. I feel so uncomfortable in my own body. Things went downhill with my eating around Thanksgiving and have not improved. No amount of spinning or running can mitigate binge eating. I am trying to find a way to stop the cycle again.

Again, so much change, both great and not so great. I need to make some more changes to feel good about myself again.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Mixing Things Up

Where has the last two months gone? The good news is that they have been predominantly good months, barring a family relationship termination almost three months ago. It is sad that it is most often the people closest to you who betray your trust, and even sadder when it is a parent. 

On the positive side, my DD and I had a fabulous trip to enjoy the fall colors in Maine. We enjoyed our Halloween immensely, complete with our annual haunted house visit. And I joined a new gym! 

I chose this one for several reasons: Cost, proximity to home, clientele, and classes that fit my schedule as a working single mother. I have taken 6 classes in the first month of my membership (3 Spin classes, 2 Corebar/Pilioxing Classes, and 1 class for lower body toning called Tighter Assets). 

I love the a Spin classes, and that is surprising to me! Each instructor is different, so some have focused on strengthening and some on intervals. And I also love the Corebar/Piloxing classes. Very high energy and challenging.

The Tighter Assets class was a big challenge for me, and not in a good way. After all of my abdominal surgeries, two of which cut me from breastbone to pubic bone and all the way through my muscles, I have poor core strength. I also have had two hernia surgeries due to incisional hernias from the two veggies, so I am cautious about hurting myself and causing anothe hernia. The Tighter Assets class made me feel uncomfortable, but the instructor was the real issue because she was barking at people with a tinge of meanness about their form or not trying hard enough. I had to modify some of the balance moves, and she made me feel bad about that. That is not something I want in a group clas, so I may try it with another instructor once I am in a bit better shape in terms of balance.

All in all, the classes have been and I have enjoyed branching out! I have met some nice people, I feel like part of "something", and I have challenged myself in new ways.  And that is a good thing!

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Pizza Victories & Running Clubs

Yes, they are totally unrelated but both a part of my week. And I consider both to be victories, actually.

I had a rough weekend for many reasons. It was very emotional, and I found myself without any appetite on Sunday. And also without any motivation to grocery shop. So, when my daughter arrived home from her dad's house on Sunday night, I had nothing to feed her for dinner. Seeing as I was already in my jammies for the night, I decide to order in. Which, in my house at least, means pizza. Good pizza. Giordano's stuffed cheese pizza, to be exact. TRIGGER FOOD.

I was going to go for the all or nothing mentality meal and just shove in as much as I could do that the temptation would be gone the next day and I could 'start fresh', but then I found myself full after two slices. I calculated my points and realized that I could actually have another slice and still be within my points for the day, but I didn't want one more.  What?!?!?!?

The next day, I still had enough pizza to eat for dinner with my child, so I used my points wisely during the day, and had two pieces of stuffed pizza for dinner. All within my target for the day.  And I was happy!  Who knew?

That was a major victory for me... A victory in eating like a 'normal' person and not one in a diet or binge mentality.

Now for the running club. I have a friend who had been encouraging me to join a local running club, which I have been saying I was going to do for almost a year now.  Last week I FINALLY made my way into the store that sponsors it and asked for details, but did not go that week. This week I set myself up to go by asking my daughter to see if she could arrange for some friends to meet her at the library during the time of the run, since the club meets across the street from our public library. And then I forgot about it.

My daughter, however, did not.

Tuesday she told me that she had two friends meeting her at the librRy the next night. And I was trapped into colliding through!!! So I went last night to join the 'beginners' running club since it had been so long since I ran, and ended up joining them on their Week 9 of 9 (graduation) run! We ran 3.04 miles with 2 minutes of running interspersed with 30 seconds of running. We did this for 40 minutes, and I made it! I was exhausted, but I finished!

And I felt great. Onward to next week!

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Just Keep Swimming

Down 1.6 this week, for a total of 13.4 since I started WW again. I have been counting points for a couple of weeks now since I have been going out a lot and indulging in foods not on the Simply Filling list. Obviously both techniques work for me.

I had a slip last night, though. Kept it at a slip instead of a slide, though, because eating all that junk did not make me feel good at all and, frankly, it did not taste all that good anyway.

I am off for a four mile walk with my boyfriend in a few minutes. A great way to kick off a new week on the right foot!

Monday, August 25, 2014

Three Weeks In

As I knew it would, my weight loss slooooooowed down this week and I was only down 0.4 pounds. Which is actually fine since I was out Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and finished up Sunday with wine at my BFs house. My loss thus far is 11.8 pounds in 3 weeks, which is a great start.

And then there was today. My daughter starts 7th Grade tomorrow, and we historically have a day of fun on the last day of summer vacation. This year she chose lunch at The Cheesecake Factory because she is currently obsessed with Oreo cookie cheesecake. I decided that I wanted to eat cheesecake, too, so I skipped breakfast (which I never do) and ordered what I wanted at lunch. The Skinnylicious Chopped Salad was delicious, as was the slice of Dulce de Leche Caramel cheesecake. Truth be told, though, I started to feel unwell by the time I was finishing the slice. I am not used to all of that sugar and fat, and I felt pretty gross and needed a nap after it.

That meal alone was 5 points over my daily point target. Wow. And this I will be having tea for dinner lol.

I love the fact that I could turn to counting points instead of Simply Filling for the day, which I did, and that I could make that food decision today with no guilt.

It's time for me to step it up on the exercise front now, so that is my goal for next week.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Didn't Even Realize It

After my WW Meeting on Saturday, I became a grumpy human being. I was irked because my boyfriend 'disinvited' me to the Arlington Million in favor of his buddy since the only other woman in the group bowed out. I felt alone because my soon-to-be teenager chose to hang out in her room by herself and text with her friends after their afternoon gathering in the park.  I was disappointed because my planned outing to Greektown was cancelled. Everything rubbed me the wrong way, all day long.

I was crabby all the way into the next day, until mid afternoon Sunday.  Mopey and sullen. Short-tempered.  Not a place I like to be.

I didn't realize 'it' until Monday evening, though.  I didn't realize that I never once thought of my usual soothing mechanism.  That I never felt compelled to eat 'bad' food or drink copious amounts of wine.  It just never entered my sphere of possibilities.  I did, however, go for a brief run outside for the first time in, well, I don't even know. 

I didn't realize that I broke out of my stern until my mood had lifted, and then I was even happier to find the mood gone with no setback on my goals.  

Good change.

Saturday, August 16, 2014


Another successful week on Simply Filling... down an additional 3.6 pounds, for a total of 11.4 pounds since rejoining! And I can feel it in my body. I still want to lose 30 to 40 more pounds and get into the middle of my Weight Watchers weight range, but at least there has been progress and it is making me excited to stay on plan.

One big thing that I have been working on is my 'perfectionism' mindset. I am allowing myself some unplanned deviations, and also saving my weekly allowance for the evenings that I spend with my boyfriend because I know that is when I will indulge in shared meals and wine.

As for exercise, I have been walking for 30 minutes at lunch each day and then eating lunch while I work. The company parking lot is my friend now, and I have a route that I take each day. I play music and think and get some stress out, and I can't wait to get out there each day. When it was raining one day last week, I forged a path in the covered parking area and did my 30 minutes there... I am not interested in making excuses for why I cannot walk.

Simply Filling is the right choice for me now. I am staying away from sweets except for fruit because I know that is a trigger for me, but am eating some reduced fat bread which feels like a treat to me after staying away from it for so long.  My diet is mainly whole, real foods, and I love my fresh fruit snacks each day. A good balance for me.

One of the reasons that I decided to join WW almost two weeks ago was because I started birth control pills for the first time in 25 years (the mini-pill, since I have a genetic disorder that makes me hypercoagulable and thus cannot take anything with estrogen due to clotting issues), and I refused to be one of those people I was reading about who gained ten pounds when they started on the pill. Enough is enough.  The fact that this loss of 11+ pounds coincided with starting that medication makes me extra happy, and also shows me that nothing predestines us to gain weight. After taking upwards of 90mg of Prednisone each day for five years, I know that one can overcome any gain that medicine (and Cushings Disease) might bring.

The challenge for me becomes consistency once the losses slow down . Consistency during the plateaus, and even through weeks where I may gain. One thing that I like about our WW leader, Ann, is that she always asks " Do you feel like you can keep doing this?"when someone has a milestone or good loss.  And that really is the key to long term success.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Courtesy Weigh-In

I attended a Saturday morning Weight Watchers meeting with my friend today but, since my first meeting was last Sunday and this still technically part of the same WW week, my weigh-in could not be logged into my account and was considered a 'courtesy' to see how I was doing this week since I cannot make tomorrow morning's meeting. Fine by me, since it showed a 7.8 pound loss since last weekend! 

That's big, but my first week always tends to be a largish loss. Results Not Typical, I know, and there was definitely some water weight there since AF started  this week. But it was still motivating to see the drop and know that the Simply Filling plan is both a good fit with my food habits AND showing results for my body.

I am going to stick with it for another week because this one felt good.

Saturday, August 2, 2014


I seem to be in a down-up-down pattern, with little progress after the initial 6 pounds I lost. Not that I am surprised by this since I have very regimented 'diet' days followed by a veritable four day weekend (Thursday is the new Friday for me) where I overindulge in wine and meals out. And often sweets when I arrive home. All the walking and exercise at lunch that I have been doing just can't counterbalance that!

So back to Weight Watchers meeting I go, starting tomorrow morning. I know it works for me, and so could use the anchoring right now.