Sunday, February 9, 2014

Enjoying the Here and Now

As long as I can remember, I have been an overthinker. I have often lived with my head in the future, dreaming of what might come, or churning events from my past and trying to make sense of it all.  Rarely did I feel firmly rooted in the present.

Not so this year. Things are unfolding in my life that make me want to stay in the here and now. I specifically do not want to overthink things or wish time away. I want the passion and excitement of the now to live on.

That's a beautiful, white hot place to be. I'm loving it.

Friday, January 17, 2014


I feel like the life lessons have been coming hard and fast for me this past year in the relationship area.

I have asked for what I wanted in a relationship and not received it. And I left.

I have received exactly what I thought I wanted, only to find out that it was not what I really wanted at all. And I left.

Now someone has entered into my life when I least expected it, showing me things that I have always wanted but never thought I would find. I have no idea how this will turn out, but I am interested in finding out.

2014 is feeling good so far.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

If You Want It

You've got to believe.

I have let everything important to me slip since Thanksgiving. Too much fun. Too many parties. Not enough discipline or desire.

But life brought someone back into my life after eighteen years and it is making me believe in my dreams again.  Even if I am a bit afraid to believe.

It's time to believe and achieve again. 


Sunday, December 8, 2013

Last Night of My Year

Tomorrow I turn another year older. It's hard to believe how much my life has changed in the last year, but my soul feels lighter.

The Christmas season began with a bang this weekend. Too much food and drink and not enough sleep, but many memories and much laughter with people that I love. A great way to end this tumultuous year.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

I'm Crabby

Yep, that pretty much sums it up. I'm not subjecting anyone to this mood until I snap out of it a bit.

My Thanksgiving eating plan went out the window. I let myself get off my eating schedule and far too hungry, and then I ate and drank like crazy. All weekend. And I have been massively hung over for two days now, which is probably a direct contributor to my case of the crabbies.

Time to shake it all off and get back on track and in a good mood. Starting... NOW.

Thursday, November 28, 2013


On this Thanksgiving morning, I am counting my blessing. They are so numerous!

- My healthy, intelligent, and beautiful child, who is the light of my life and the result of a hard-won battle to have a child.

- My family, whom I love very much and can always count on when I need them.

- My health. This had not always been true, so I appreciate every healthy day.

- Good friends. True friends. Quality people in my life.

- My kitties, because they bring me happiness, comfort, and unconditional love every single day.

- My job, because it affords me the opportunity to use my brain and challenge myself in addition to supporting my family in a comfortable manner.

- My beautiful home, which is safe and warm and has all of the creature comforts that we desire. Even if my neighbors are louder than I would like.

I feel content watching the parade with my daughter this morning. And that is another blessing.

Wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 25, 2013

Skinni(er) Jeans

Yes! I tried on a pair of my skinnier jeans yesterday, and they fit beautifully!

I love fitting into clothes that make me feel good. And I loved wearing them to work today as a reminder to stay on track during this holiday week with all of the treats that are littering the office right now!

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Here Come the Holidays!

I love the holidays! Last year was a terrible holiday season for us, though, and I really did not enjoy them at all. But this year is different. Better. Happy.

I skipped WW last weekend because my weekly Cheat Day turned into more of a Cheat Weekend. It reinforced what I already know about myself: I do not do well with the Cheat Day concept because it becomes an opportunity for me to eat all of my favorite foods in a jam-packed 24 hour period. In large quantities. And then I feel guilty. Thus, no more Cheat Day lingo for me.

The good news in it all is that my body responded well to the last two weeks with a Cheat Day in terms of weight and fat loss. I was down another 4.2 pounds at WW this morning, and am now just 4.6 pounds away from my WW goal range. And, much more than a number on the scale, I just plain feel better in my body. I am feeling more like myself. And, frankly, that is really the whole point for me. I do not have any weight-related health issues, so avoiding those and feeling confident are my goals in terms of a goal weight.

I am glad I went to the meeting today because it gave me a boost for this holiday week. I was planning on letting myself go hog wild with the food and drink on Thanksgiving, but now I don't want to do that anymore. I am going to have wine as my appetizer (thank goodness I have no desire for those mini hotdog things that my mom is making... ick), focus on the protein and veggies with a spoonful of the other dishes for the main meal, and save the bulk of my calories for dessert (which is what I really want anyway). And I am going to wear a nice dress (with tights) so that my clothes are none too comfy for an expanding belly.  I am also going to get some exercise in before the gathering to counterbalance the calories and add to my resolve of healthy habits. Plan in place!

I was afraid that this holiday season would be melancholy for me because of my breakup earlier this year and subsequent string of disappointing dating experiences since it, but that is not the case. I am actually really looking forward to the events we have planned this season, and to spending time with my daughter. She is turning into a very interesting young woman, and will be entering the last of her pre-teen years in January. I am really enjoying her blossoming, yet still get the sweet girl who loves her mom like crazy. It is a very special time.

So bring it on! I am making great progress with my body goals and am in better shape than I have been for over a year and a half, and I have experienced significant emotional healing this year. But the best part is that I am focusing on enjoying the season with my biggest blessing, and that is really warming my heart from deep within.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Oral Surgery, 2.2, and 5%

That is a high level description of my weekend! I had oral surgery yesterday (a crown lengthening) to assist with a botched root canal that led to a piece of the file being broken off in the root of my tooth and significant shearing of the tooth. No fun. Stitches in my gums and packing along one side of my jaw. Nothing hot for a week. Soft foods for a week. Ugh.

I spent most of yesterday napping on the couch covered with kitties. 

This morning was Weight Watchers, and I am happy to report that I am down 2.2 pounds this week. I surpassed my 5% milestone and am now fewer than 9 pounds away from my Weight Watchers goal range! Although I plan to set myself firmly in the middle if the range, so my personal goal is less than 25 pounds away. All and all, I am down over 20 pounds from the highest weight I saw on the scale in the last year, so I consider this a success!

Now to keep the momentum going during the holidays. I do have some holiday eating planned, but am going to be very choosy and limit it to only the things that I absolutely love.

I will see my goal weight in 2014. That's a promise that I am making to myself.