Friday, November 20, 2009

Photo Opportunity

I don't know about you, but I have always hated the camera. I don't like to look at pictures of myself because all I see is what is wrong with me in the photo. Of course, there have been a handful of pictures that I have liked throughout the years, but not enough to make me comfortable in front of a camera.

My daughter is now 7 years old. When I look through pictures of me at that age, I see so many of me alone, my brother and me, my father and me, and even my father and brother and me. I do not see very many of my mother, either with me, with anyone else, or alone. My mother hated the camera, and refused to have her picture taken except under great duress.

There are so few pictures of my daughter and me together. She will have the same experience looking back on her life that I have looking back on mine. And frankly, that is sad. Sad enough that I scheduled a photo session for us to have our first photos taken together.

That session was scheduled for last Saturday. I spent many a night before it researching what to wear to look best in photos and how to apply makeup for photos, and I made sure that all of our clothes were ready well ahead of time. I was seriously nervous.

I asked my mother to join us for some three generation shots... and she consented. So when the big day came, I prayed for nice weather so that we could go outside and take the shots as I pictured in my mind. And we did indeed have beautiful weather! So we went outside to the forest surrounding my house, and we took about 220 pictures. The hour went by quickly, and then it was just a wait to see the proofs online which were supposed to be posted Monday or Tuesday.

As the days passed by and our photos did not find their way up to the site, I became increasingly nervous. My mind was twisting with thoughts that the pictures were terrible and the photographer needed to do extra work to make some of them look okay. Monday... Tuesday... Wednesday morning came and went, so I wrote to the photographer just to make sure that I was looking in the right place. At noon on Wednesday, they showed up for viewing. And I was more nervous than ever.

Suffice it to say that there are some beautiful shots. Of the 220 photos, I placed almost half in my Favorites link on her site. I cannot stop looking at them because I see the love between us, our smiling faces, and happiness.

I never would have done this last year. Losing the weight gave me confidence and made me open to taking these photos with my daughter and my mother. We have some photos that will only become more precious as the years pass and the events that befall us all come to pass. And I hope that this is just the start of photo sessions to come so that my daughter does not find herself upset by the fact that she has no pictures of herself as a child with her mother when she is 30 years older than she is today.

Total NSV.