Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Not So Much

The whole tracking EVERYTHING for a week goal? Yeah, not so much. It went pretty well until Saturday night and then... FAIL.

Then I had some more horrible days until finally pulling it together yesterday. Not perfect, but better. Today I just focused on eating healthy foods. Tomorrow, I am going to watch my portions more and get in a 5 mile run.

For whatever reason, I just cannot seem to wrap my brain around being OP. I have never been a "baby steps" person myself, even though I always give others that advice. I always have to jump in with both feet (and both arms, and my head, my butt). I make a 180 and see dramatic changes. But I am having trouble with this now. It is freaking me out.

So I am trying some new things here. I started a paper (GASP!) journal today. Not for recording my food per se, but for recording my thoughts, writing down motivational quotes, capturing books I was to read, and other things like that. I also chose not to beat myself up for my food choices today. The portions may have been larger than WW would prescribe, but the food was healthy and it was FAR FAR from my binging ways.

I am still unsure if I am going to weigh in on Friday, or let another week pass. I am leaning toward stepping on the scale right now even though my period just hit with a ferocity usually reserved for times when my cats get the midnight crazies.

I am going to get this right. This is my life I'm talking about. It is not a day or a week or a month or even a few years of perfection, but is really about managing this battle once and for all. You'd think I would have learned this by 40 already, right? But obviously not, so I am re-educating myself and preparing to fight the good fight again.

2 comments:

Delane said...

Its often hard to find mojo after not being OP. Its a rhythm for me, when I get out of my rhythm I don't do very well.

Al's CL Reviews said...

I do well, Th, F and Sat. Then I fall apart.