Friday, December 31, 2010

Counting Down the Hours

I will not be sad to see 2010 end and 2011 begin. I am one of those people who chose to regard a new year as a time to begin anew and make positive changes in my life. Not that there is magic in a new year, but that it allows me to focus my mind on a fresh start... and we all know that our minds really can determine our success or failure, or at the least how we view our lives.

The important thing, though, is not just to want to make positive changes in the new year but to actually do the work required to actualize those changes. To enter every day with the goal of making it the best that it can be. I have settled for less than I deserve this year, both from myself and from others, but this is not something that I want to continue to do. I am worth more. I will treat myself as a priority, and consciously move away from those who do not treat me properly. Conversely, I will focus on treating those who are important to me with love and respect and attentiveness.

2010 has ended on a negative note for me due to interpersonal issues, but there were many wonderful times during this past year, too. I am going to choose to hold those happy times close in my mind and heart, and let the negative ones go with the wind.

Some 2010 memorable moments for me were:
  • Training for and running my first half marathon in May
  • Luau Party with friends in IN in July/August
  • Renegade Craft Fair with friends in September
  • MI/IN trip with my mom and some friends in October
  • Vegas Trip in October
  • Trick or Treat Trot 10K weekend with friends in October
  • Disneyworld with my daughter and mother in December
Some of my other wonderful times in 2010 have been rendered painful now based on recent events, but I did experience some beautiful and romantic nights out this past year, too. Hopefully I will be able to think of them without regret sometime in the future because they certainly were important to me in 2010.

That being said, tomorrow I am embarking upon my 2011 plan to simplify my life. My daughter is with her father this weekend, and I plan to use this free time to begin the work of decluttering my house. I will also create a meal plan for this week and do our grocery shopping, wash our clothes, put away the Christmas decorations, and go to the gym for runs.

A Very Happy New Year to all of you!!!

Saturday, December 25, 2010


Not the first word that comes to mind when describing my life. Not in the top 10... or even the top 100. But it is the root of my focus for 2011.


Instead of making resolutions last year, I chose a word to use as a theme of sorts for my year.

The word for 2010 was:


- The concentration of attention or energy on something
- Maximum clarity or distinctness of an image rendered by an optical system
- Concentrate: direct one's attention on something
- Cause to converge on or toward a central point

I will focus on achieving my weight loss and fitness goals while also focusing on the wonderful life that I have, paying more attention to the here and now with my family and friends. I will not wish away my time because I want to look different, but will instead focus on enjoying what I have and what I can do now. I will live my life with more awareness and appreciation.

I received this quote in my Inbox this week from The Happiness Project daily email:

"Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!"

Henry David Thoreau

It made me think about all of the things that take my time away from living the life that I have the way that I would like to live it, and thus the word that I am choosing for 2011 is:


- To make less complex or complicated; make plainer or easier

I will focus on simplifying my life. I will eliminate the things that I no longer love or use so that I can spend less time taking care of items and more time enjoying experiences. I will create maintainable routines that work for me and focus of making my life less complex. I will focus on what is in the now instead of complicating my life with the regrets of the past or the worries of the future.

Lofty goals, but I am aiming high.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Dress

The photos are not particularly flattering, but here I am in my dress for the company holiday party last night.

Too little food + co-worker who admitted that the bartender was putting three shots in each of my drinks = a rough morning. :(

Friday, December 17, 2010

Post-Disney Weekly Weigh-In

Down 1.7 pounds, to 175.2! BMI 25.1. One more pound and I am "NORMAL" (hahahaha, right).

Less than 8 weeks until surgery.

Company holiday party tonight in a new dress. Hopefully I will have some photos to post this weekend so that everyone can see it.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

How Long Does It Take?

I have been running (and I use the term loosely because it includes my Couch to 5 K days) for about 2 1/2 years now. I can safely say that I did not enjoy a single run my first year. I enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment, the idea of it once it was over, and maybe even the spent feeling when I was done, but I did not enjoy the run while it was in progress.

The second year brought some enjoyable runs because I felt confident enough to run outside when the weather permitted. I enjoyed the whole experience of my outdoor runs... the sun, the weather, the trees and scenery, the music, and feeling like I was part of something. I also trained for and completed a half marathon, and I felt proud. I even called myself a runner to others.

This weekend I ran about 3 1/2 miles both Saturday and Sunday. Regular old runs on the track at my gym, same old music that I have been listening to for weeks. But the thing is that I enjoyed THE RUN ITSELF. I pushed myself, I got lost in my movement, and I felt good WHILE running. It was a different experience for me. I looked forward to getting on the track, felt happy while I was running, and felt peaceful afterward. Did it take me 2 1/2 years to enjoy the run itself? Or do we just move through different levels of enjoyment the longer that we run?

I don't know the answer, but I do know that I hope it continues to feel like this!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

And I'm Back

Back to reality after an amazing vacation with my daughter. I also got to spend some quality time with my mom, but she came down with such a nasty cold that it was a miserable trip for her.

In terms of enjoyment and those goals, it was a win! I cannot say that I didn't think about the situation (especially since he texted me while I was there), but I refocused as quickly as possible on enjoying my time away. I'll deal with it now that I am back.

As for my food-related goals, yeah, not so much. I ate like a monster. Luckily I also walked around like a crazy woman, and actually spent a great deal of time racing short distances with my 8 year old to burn off extra energy.

Intentional exercise? Nope. After being in a park from 8:45 am until 7:30 pm and navigating Disney transportation for another hour, it just didn't happen. But I walked my little heart out each and every day!

Now that we are home, I am heading to the gym for a run now and am back on WW Points Plus hard core. I have a sexy new dress to wear at my company holiday party this Friday, and I plan on feeling pretty in it!

Monday, December 6, 2010

I'm Not Ready!!!

Vacation time is upon me. It is almost 10:00 pm. The cab will be here at 6:00 am. I have not packed yet. Thus, it is time to get off my ass and get some packing done before I head off to the happiest place in the world.

But, before I do, I want to put some things out there so that I remember what I WANT and what I DO NOT WANT to do on this vacation.


  • To enjoy some focused time with my daughter and my mother. Life is short.
  • To disentangle myself from all of this failed relationship crap and get back to the business of living a happy life.
  • To focus on healthier food choices and increased activity so that I maintain or lose weight while away.


  • To waste my vacation dwelling on negative thoughts.
  • To be crabby when I have the opportunity to have fun.
  • To be distracted from what is right in front of me.
  • To use vacation as an excuse to eat like a crazy woman.

I weighed in at 176 this morning. A new low after my "official" Friday weigh-in of 176.9. I want to make sure that I come back next weekend equal to or lower than where I am now. Shallow, yes, but I am on a roll and I want to keep it going. Thus I have checked out the fitness room at the hotel, have prepared my running shoes and workout clothes, and have made a commitment to include some form of intentional exercise every day, no matter how little. I want to come back from this vacation feeling happy, feeling like it was time well spent and time that added to the joy in my life... not feeling like a setback occurred in that area.

Tomorrow will be 9 weeks until my surgery, and I want to make sure that I am in the best possible physical and mental place that I can be when that time comes. At this point I cannot afford to waste a week... so I won't. I will enjoy this week in a healthy manner, and come back a happier person in so many ways.

Friday, December 3, 2010

First Points Plus Weekly Weigh In

Okay, I have only been on it since Monday, but I am LOVING the new Points Plus Plan. Bravo, WW!!!!

And this week's weigh in had me down 4.8 pounds! So even though I was up 1.2 last week, I am still down 3.6 in general and in VFT (virgin fat territory). I have not seen this weight for 12 years!

I am now 0.4 BMI points from being "NORMAL". So I am going to focus on eating well during my vacation next week to the happiest place on earth. And, let me tell you, I could USE some happiness after the horrible emotional week that I have had. You know it is bad when you actually ask yourself if some of the weight loss this week could honestly be due to dehydration from crying so much.

Either way, I am inspired to continue losing and get as close to goal as possible by my surgery date, so I am going to run tonight, tomorrow, and Sunday because it is unlikely that I will run until I get home next weekend.

And on that note, I am off to change for the gym!