I am doing some re-evaluating.
I have decided that I want to undertake a one-year plan for a better me. After this round of dating, I am going to back WAY off and refocus on myself for the next year. Cut back on going out, get back to the gym as soon as I can, and undertake a serious life makeover program:
BODY - Lowering my body fat percentage while increasing my muscle mass and going to Level 2/next steps with the plastic surgeon
MIND - Getting myself back in a healthy self-care routine after all of the crap with my co-worker/ex-lover that has distracted me and made me hate myself for the past 6+ months
SOUL - Getting my house de-cluttered, focusing on things that make me feel good about myself, focusing on my child and my friends and family and people who actually love me… and giving my energy to THEM instead of to uncaring energy vampires as I have been doing lately
Tomorrow is April 1st, and I declare it my “Return To Me” start date. It is time to shift my focus back from seeking love outside of myself to cultivating love for myself. That is the hardest thing for me right now, to love myself despite all of my obvious flaws and in spite of all of the ways that I have damaged myself with my life decisions over the year. To make the most of what I have left. To become the best that I can be with what I still have. And to realize that no one else can make me whole or fix me.
It's a sort of homecoming, and it is about time.