Sunday, May 13, 2012

One Year

Today is the one year anniversary of my first date with my boyfriend.  We were planning to hop on a plane to Playa del Carmen on Thursday morning to celebrate, but that obviously had to be cancelled.  Then he had planned to take me to the restaurant where we had our first date to have a celebratory drink.  Instead, we spent the afternoon on the couch napping because he is not feeling well today, and then I went grocery shopping for food that he can tolerate eating at this point in his treatment.

This is tough stuff, both him fighting cancer (the tougher of the two by FAR) and me caring for someone I love who is fighting cancer.  But there is a silver lining in the whole process, and that is the fact that I like coming home and having him here.  I would worry so much more if he were at his home and I could not peek in and see how he is doing at any time, if I could not rub his neck or scratch his back when he is feeling sick, if I could not look to my right on the couch and exchange commentary with him while mindlessly watching American Idol.  We have "lived together" twice, and both times have been under poor circumstances: 1) When I needed help post surgery and 2) While he needs help during chemo.  But, despite the circumstances, we are both happier doing this together than doing it alone.

Our anniversary certainly is not how I envisioned it and, if I am being honest, I will admit that I am a little disappointed that we could not celebrate it other than with an exchange of cards.  But the reality of it is that I am so much closer to this man than I ever would have thought that I would be after dating for a mere year because of the events that we have encountered over this past year.  I cannot predict if we will make it another year as a couple, but I have learned so much about being in a relationship this last year.  About REALLY being in a relationship, not just during the fun times but also during the most difficult ones.  About how you can help but have to be careful not to control when someone is down, and how you can care and advise but still have to accept someone's right to make their own decisions for themselves even when you think they are wrong.  About how you can still find happiness in the day to day things even when you are in terrible circumstances.

Happy Anniversary to us... what a year it has been.  Here's to better days!

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