Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Step 1

I found these waiting at my door tonight when I arrived at home after work. They are breathtaking.

I have a date on Sunday. These were a precursor. I'm taking the first step by risking again.

But this time is different. I am grounded. I am not trying to forget or replace anyone. I am not desperate. And I am not in psycho diet mode to try to fit some mold in my mind. I'm just me, scars and stretch marks and sensitive places and extra pounds and all. Love it or leave. I'm okay the way I am, and I am worth it.

Here we go... I hope that someone amazing is waiting.

I hope.

I have hope.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Opening Up Again

Although I am a Director now and in charge of three very different functional areas at work, I am still a Project Manager at heart. This is especially obvious as I navigate my return to the dating world.

I am feeling the tugs of the heart again. I would like to meet a man with whom to share my life and build a present and future together.  Hope has crept back in despite my heartbreak and disappointment in the past.

This has brought out the Project Manager in me in full force, so I set a date to start dating again: August 26.

Why August 26? Several reasons:

1) My daughter will be back in school and summer will be over from that perspective. It is one of my goals to spend this summer enjoying my daughter, my mother, my family, and my friends.

2) I will have complete the 21 day meditation program offered by Deepak Chopra and Oprah called "Miraculous Relationships".

3) It will be over six months since I left my last relationship, which is the minimum amount of time that I promised myself for healing before dating again.

4) I will be home from a friend's wedding in Michigan, which is the last big weekend that I have planned, so I will have time in my schedule for dating.

5) I am almost ready, but just not quite.  This will give me a little more time to prepare by working with my therapist and working in my life to realign some of the things that are troubling me.

Before that time I have a few goals:

1) Eat clean and moderately on a daily basis.

2) Reestablish an exercise routine.

3) Organize my home

4) Establish better routines.

I hope to be further along by August 26 than I am today! I am going to try eHarmony this time, so wish me luck! 

Monday, July 15, 2013

Shaking Things Up

I'm trying some new things to simplify my eating and sneak in some extra exercise.

The first one is my Green Protein Smoothie. 

Didn't think to snap a photo until it was gone!!

2 heaping handfuls of baby spinach
1/2 cup frozen wild blueberries
2 T ground golden flaxseed 
1 T unsweetened shredded coconut
1 1/2 scoops of Optimum Nutrition Vanilla Ice Cream Whey Protein Powder
1 cup of water

Whirred in the Vitamix for 30 seconds until a shocking greenish brownish and VOILA!  It is delicious and keeps me full until lunch, and I have been starting my mornings with it for over a week now.

My second addition is daily hooping.

Right next to the TV so that I can hoop while I watch.

I took a 2 hour hooping class last weekend (Holy Sore Abs, Batman!), and am renewed in my interest! I did 20 minutes yesterday, and 10 minutes this morning thus far. I am aiming for a minimum of 2x10 minute sessions per day.  I just ordered a 5 pound power hoop for some extra challenge; I tried one last weekend and it was an entirely different experience!

The third thing is zucchini "noodles".

Yum! So good, and a nice replacement for pasta to keep veggie intake high and calorie count low.  And I made this huge bowl of them in less than a minute!

I am enjoying the summer, eating well, swimming often (I actually have a little tan... gasp!), and doing the nice little things for myself like burning incense, reading daily meditations, and journaling at night before bed. All is well.